We started getting comfortable talking with each other. Talking with, not to. Never met though. This makes it hard to know in that gut instinct kind of way whether you really want to be with a person. The usual 'forever' bit at the end of the previous sentence adds a whole lot of pressure. So I didn't put it there, but it's obviously on my mind.
It's easy to fall in love. Even easier when you inevitably, and often unknowingly, make up a fictionalized version of the person you're talking with from a distance. This version is perfect in that imperfect way - we endow them with the qualities and flaws we are comfortable with. But there's so much more to a person.
I don't know what she looks like sitting by the window reading when it's raining outside. She doesn't know what I smell like after I'm back from a run but before I shower. I don't know if she smiles while talking on the phone or yawns loudly or frowns when concentrating. She doesn't know if I slouch too much or how enthusiastic I can get for some things or how slowly I type. Will she want to walk that small distance instead of driving or will it be too hot for her? Will her love diminish if I make much less money than her friends or maybe if I'm not as sophisticated as them?
I don't know if she likes being teased in front of others or how she looks just after waking up in the morning. Will she scowl at me checking email first thing in the morning or that I dip my toast in the cup of tea? And when she tells me something, will she be patient when I don't understand whether she wants me to just listen or reply with something constructive? Does she get absorbed in a movie like I do or is she bursting to comment on what she just saw? Will she talk to me when she doesn't like something about us or will she let it build up to an un-returnable point of frustration? Will she find it corny if I tell her everyday how much she means to me or will she want to witness it by my actions?
Do I need to know all these answers before taking her hands in mine?
It's easy to fall in love. Even easier when you inevitably, and often unknowingly, make up a fictionalized version of the person you're talking with from a distance. This version is perfect in that imperfect way - we endow them with the qualities and flaws we are comfortable with. But there's so much more to a person.
I don't know what she looks like sitting by the window reading when it's raining outside. She doesn't know what I smell like after I'm back from a run but before I shower. I don't know if she smiles while talking on the phone or yawns loudly or frowns when concentrating. She doesn't know if I slouch too much or how enthusiastic I can get for some things or how slowly I type. Will she want to walk that small distance instead of driving or will it be too hot for her? Will her love diminish if I make much less money than her friends or maybe if I'm not as sophisticated as them?
I don't know if she likes being teased in front of others or how she looks just after waking up in the morning. Will she scowl at me checking email first thing in the morning or that I dip my toast in the cup of tea? And when she tells me something, will she be patient when I don't understand whether she wants me to just listen or reply with something constructive? Does she get absorbed in a movie like I do or is she bursting to comment on what she just saw? Will she talk to me when she doesn't like something about us or will she let it build up to an un-returnable point of frustration? Will she find it corny if I tell her everyday how much she means to me or will she want to witness it by my actions?
Do I need to know all these answers before taking her hands in mine?
larry@mail.postmanllc.net
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