Sunday, December 1, 2013

Your source of happiness need not be someone else

By finding your primary happiness in the things you do and find enjoyable, you liberate others and yourself. When you want others to take care of your happiness, they have to behave in a way that fulfills your expectations. And the same happens to you when others have this expectation of you. Nothing wrong in that and some constraints brought on by external expectations do improve the quality of life. The trick is not to let it get to the point of being over-bearing.

If instead you find your own source of happiness, whatever the other person does or you do for them is a bonus to whatever they had earlier.

There's of course joy in doing things for the people you love, it will make you and them happy. But this shouldn't be the main source of your happiness. Let it be the icing, not the cake.

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Your thoughts are very welcome and I look forward to them eagerly. Just be mindful of being civil. This is a good book about the same in case you are interested:
Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct - P.M.Forni