Depression has a song!

Lately, drawing connections between seemingly disparate things has become a fun pastime for me. Today for some reason I remembered this song from the 1975 movie 'Mili', and listened to it. It's a gem composed by S.D. Burman, written by Yogesh and sung by Kishore Kumar.

No one needs to be told that this is a sad song. Even those unfamiliar with Hindi can guess the mood of the song from it's soulful tune. However, I listened to its lyrics carefully this time. And I found that no other song captures the feelings of  someone sufffering from clinical depression in as few words as this one does. A 1970s hindi song describing symptoms of depression is really interesting. I've tried translating it below, with no attempt at poetic rhythm, and the corresponding symptoms of depression are identified. As usual, several English words fail to capture the aroma of the original Hindi/Urdu words.:

badi suni suni hai zindagi ye zindagi - (2)

mai khud se hun yahaan ajanabi ajanabi. badi

This life is quite forlorn. I'm a stranger to myself here. (hopelessness, dissociation)

kabhi ek pal bhi, kahi ye udaasi

dil meraa bhule

If my heart manages to forget this unhappiness even for a moment,

tabhi muskuraakar dabe paanv aakar

dukh mujhe chhule

Just then Sadness reappears and touches me quietly, knowingly. (Persistent feelings of unhappiness)

na kar mujhase gam mere, dillagi ye dillagi

badi

My sorrow,  please don't play these games with my heart.

kabhi mai na soyaa, kahi mujhase khoyaa

sukh meraa aise

Sometimes, I don't sleep (insomnia). I've lost my own happiness

pataa naam likhakar, kahi yunhi rakhakar

bhule koi kaise

the way someone might forget a thing that has their name and address written over it.

ajab dukh bhari hai ye, bebasi bebasi

This (helplessness) is strange and fills me with sorrow.

I doubt the lyricist was able to write this without having suffered or having seen someone close suffer from depression. Thanks for writing this Yogesh ji, wherever you are.