Recently I saw some curious examples of people claiming they liked something. But on talking with them further, it became apparent and some confessed privately, that it was just a pretense. They were either doing it to be considered part of a clique or just seem cool. Or maybe there were other reasons.
Whether we like to admit it or not, the choices we make in music, art, food, sports, movies, TV shows, books, merchandise are often
used to judge us (and also used by us to judge others). So some entities in these are accorded a higher value than others. Def Leppard will be considered superior to Bryan Adams. Perhaps a Discovery show better than reality TV. Murakami over Stephenie Meyer. Art cinema over 'mainstream'. And so on.
So there's a kind of a divide. You can look at people on both sides of this divide in several ways. In an empathetic way. Critically. Or just ignore others.
Empathetic way - those who like the so-called inferior things might pretend to like something better because they don't want to be looked down upon. Or they want to be considered part of the 'in' crowd.
It's hard to look in an empathetical way at those who consider their tastes inherently superior, but here's an attempt - perhaps they have a need for self-validation somewhere which is fulfilled over a period of time by associating with something they've been told growing up, is superior.
Looking critically at people is easy - those pretending to like something superior are just wannabes, wanting to make themselves look good in reflected glory (Interestingly, the Gangnam style song has been interpreted as a satire on these kind of people). Those looking down at others are just snobs/pretentious. Then there's this video of the first Starbucks store opening in Mumbai.
Which brings us to- how should one judge a piece of work? Is there an inherent value to things? Or should things be given a value based solely on how they make one feel? If I think a show is crappy, but it's making someone else very happy, should I judge it? Does that kind of work slowly lead to an overall decline in quality (what is quality)? Where does it stop? Or it doesn't matter at all?
(There's a black comedy movie called God Bless America. Deals with something similar.)
In any case, pretending to like something allegedly superior or looking down at someone's tastes doesn't seem right. I don't know. Maybe fans of gossip magazines, reality TV, Salman Khan, Rajnikant, Big Boss fans (the dedicated, genuine ones. Not those who like it ironically) have it right. Perhaps they are the really happy ones. They know what they like and accept it openly. It may be thought of as low quality (what is quality anyway) stuff but it’s theirs. Happiness is to some extent subjective and people do synthesize happiness. So why should it be damned as wrong or inferior. Or should it?
So there's a kind of a divide. You can look at people on both sides of this divide in several ways. In an empathetic way. Critically. Or just ignore others.
Empathetic way - those who like the so-called inferior things might pretend to like something better because they don't want to be looked down upon. Or they want to be considered part of the 'in' crowd.
It's hard to look in an empathetical way at those who consider their tastes inherently superior, but here's an attempt - perhaps they have a need for self-validation somewhere which is fulfilled over a period of time by associating with something they've been told growing up, is superior.
Looking critically at people is easy - those pretending to like something superior are just wannabes, wanting to make themselves look good in reflected glory (Interestingly, the Gangnam style song has been interpreted as a satire on these kind of people). Those looking down at others are just snobs/pretentious. Then there's this video of the first Starbucks store opening in Mumbai.
Which brings us to- how should one judge a piece of work? Is there an inherent value to things? Or should things be given a value based solely on how they make one feel? If I think a show is crappy, but it's making someone else very happy, should I judge it? Does that kind of work slowly lead to an overall decline in quality (what is quality)? Where does it stop? Or it doesn't matter at all?
(There's a black comedy movie called God Bless America. Deals with something similar.)
In any case, pretending to like something allegedly superior or looking down at someone's tastes doesn't seem right. I don't know. Maybe fans of gossip magazines, reality TV, Salman Khan, Rajnikant, Big Boss fans (the dedicated, genuine ones. Not those who like it ironically) have it right. Perhaps they are the really happy ones. They know what they like and accept it openly. It may be thought of as low quality (what is quality anyway) stuff but it’s theirs. Happiness is to some extent subjective and people do synthesize happiness. So why should it be damned as wrong or inferior. Or should it?
Judging makes those who judge happy as well.
ReplyDeleteI've already caught myself thinking about it... "Perhaps they are the happy ones". Exactly my "conclusion"! (using quote/unquote because this discussion will never have an end...)
I think judgement will always exist. There's no way to even try to stop it. It's a sad reality, and I do believe people should be minding their own business but that's that.
It's everything so relative, like when you question what is quality anyway.
That makes me think about respect... One thing that we've been seeing even more rarely these days. And about the opposite, sometimes some people have to pretend they know/like what "everyone" likes because they're afraid to be seen as too weird or something like that. Or, worse, when they express they like something considered unusual because they fear to be seen as arrogant or doing it just to be different from others and/or to feel they are better than the ones who likes "inferior" things.
Phew! =)
Hey Thayse, good to see you here :) Thanks for commenting.
DeleteOne stark example of things being relative is the work of artist Jackson Pollock. Do look him up sometime. He is considered to be a genius by some, and his work is considered to be mindless stupidity by others. Very polarizing.
I agree with you about the respect part.
You raised a good point about people pretending to like what 'everyone' likes just to be seen and accepted as normal. I missed that in my post.
For now, ignoring things I don't like and trying as much as possible to be less judgmental seem to be the only proper things to do. I think a certain amount of confidence in oneself helps with that. If you don't need validation for your choices, you don't feel insecure about choices that other people are making. That, I suppose helps in being less judgmental.
Also, it helps to keep an open mind sometimes and try out something others like but you despise. One of the posts I'm writing is about my experience with that.
Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts.
I've commented some previous posts but I didn't know I could put only my name... Hehe!
ReplyDeleteI praise you for sharing your thoughts, all your knowledge. I used to be more judgemental in the past. I could say that I -kinda- am yet. But I'm still learning...
I'll look him up.
And thank you for, indirectly, introduce me to Zen Habits. Another great blog!
You're welcome! His posts are nice. For me, they keep things grounded and provide some food for thought.
DeleteI'm glad you find something worthwhile here.